Monday, May 23, 2005

Now Where Did I Leave My Brain?

You know when you are packing for a move and you end up circling a room, trying to figure out exactly what to shove into a box next?

That's how I'm feeling at the moment. I'm trying to stuff all the loose ends into a tidy braid, but the braid is as long as Rapunzel's and I can't do it.

Remember how you felt in college when you couldn't keep your eyes open another second and you finally declared, "Well, if I don't know this material now, I'll never know it?"

That's how I feel now, which is why I'm going to bed. Tomorrow I can write a to-do list. I can work on attendance records for school-at-home. I'll fold more laundry. I'll wash more dishes. I might even mop. I'll purchase Amtrak tickets.

Tomorrow, I'll book that extra room at Disney and order that book from Amazon. I'll pay the phone bill and remember to put chicken in the crockpot. I'll send email to the decorating committee people for Vacation Bible School and I'll remember to ask my husband to order that acacia tree for a prop.

I will write that letter to my volunteers. I'll pull some weeds. I will fill the dishwasher and empty the counter. I'll grocery shop. I'll force the children to do history and literature lessons and I'll worry that they aren't actually remembering anything. I will rock Babygirl. I'll match socks. I'll write a check for the pool fee. I'll look for swimsuits in the Lands End catalog.

But tonight, I'll sleep.


Blogger Julana said...

Hope you are having a good sleep, Mel. It's 7:14 here and 4:14 there. The fun thing about living east is that the west coasters who write at night leave things under the tree for us to wake up to. Hope you wake rested and full of energy.

4:10 AM  
Blogger Angi said...

Nighty Nite, don't let the bed bugs bite.

5:54 AM  
Blogger blueyedtracy said...

I like "I will fill the dishwasher and empty the counter." I dream of clean, clear countertops. Sometimes I want to close the kitchen just so I can enjoy uncluttered counterspace for more than 2 minutes. Hope you slept well!

6:21 AM  
Blogger Cuppa said...

I had a friend once who said in her next house she wouldn't have any flat surfaces at all, so stuff couldn't pile up on them. Now there is an idea!

I hope you had a good restful sleep last night and were able to tuck all the ends into a nice neat braid this morning. Brush out those golden stands Rapunzel and get some help with those ends you can't reach. If you can't get some help get some scissors and cut something off!

I think you need to find an acacia tree and sit in the shade under it for awhile and get some rest. You need a break before you break hunny!

Once when I was overworked and overwhelmed and ready to fall apart, AC said to me "You have done this to yourself and you can step back from a few committments."

"No I can't" I responded. "If I don't do it it won't get done and the world will fall apart."

"If you don't step back you will fall apart and then someone will have to step in and do it and it will get done without you. So, step back before that happens and take a year off. In the Bible even the land gets to rest every seven years. Don't you think you are more valuable than dirt?
By my accounts you are overdue for a break and probably deserve about three years!"

His words stuck me right between the eyes. I did need a break and I could take one. I had to resign from committees and all things that drained me outside of the home and take a year to soak in instead of giving out all the time. I called it my "dirt year" and it was the best thing I ever did for myself.

I gave myself permission to say no to things and not give a reason. I just said no I couldn't do it, and left it at that. I didn't have to explain myself or give a reason. You don't either. Just say no I can't do it!!

I resigned from decorating committees, volunteer committees, phone lists, EVERYTHING!

I had to stay connected at home, but any responsibilities outside the home stayed off the agenda.

Do it Mel. Take a "dirt year"!

7:39 AM  
Blogger M3 (Mary-Mia) said...

Whoo-ee, "tomorrow" sounds a little rough to me. Hope you got lots of sleep and about 7/8 of the things on that to do list magically disappear. No idea how that would actually happen, but I saw a shooting star last night (first one ever) so I'm wishing that for you. Take care.

10:53 AM  
Blogger Rebecca said...

Sounds like a case of the Scarlett O'Haras (I'll think about that tomorrow), only in a good way. Hope you're getting everything done today...

12:51 PM  
Blogger Judy said...

Listen to Cuppa.

I once had to quit everything but home and work. Some stuff didn't get done, and some people didn't understand. I took a year off, and then slowly added back only those things I had a passion for.

Rereading my journals that I just found, I do NOT know how I did it all. Really.

After quitting a bunch of seemingly important nightly meetings, my very young daughter looked me in the eye and said "I thought you didn't like us anymore, you were never here."

I liked her A LOT, but I also secretly had to admit that I liked the pats on the back that one does not get staying home and doing thankless tasks.

11:37 AM  

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