Saturday, February 19, 2005

When I Have More Time . . .

What I want to write about tonight is my old friendship with a girl I'll call Raven Haired Beauty, but alas, my fingertips are so dry that one is bleeding and I have to save my fingers for yet another transcription job.

But I will talk about the nature of friendship and how it is that some people can be so rude that they fail to return a long-distance telephone call, which is merely a symptom of the actual issue--the value of a friendship.

Why is it worth more to me than to her?
Should I extend mercy?
Or should I just let the friendship die?

(I'll let you know my choice later. When I'm not half-asleep and bleeding.)


Blogger Butterfly said...

I am so hearing you. I have a friend that I have all but given up on. You would think that phones only work oneway. That I only leave voicemail to hear myself speak. That any email I send does not require replies.

It hurts. And I have pretty much decided to let it go. I can't be the only one working on a dying friendship. It's just a real shame.

8:15 AM  
Blogger Jan said...

I've been a non-returner before. I was depressed, and the phone...the phone. I just couldn't use the phone. I can't explain it even today. Your friend may be depressed, too. Mine was a depression induced by a very ill family member. Even if you give up for now, I hope you'll leave the door cracked in case she does contact you eventually. And if you suspect she may be in trouble, you may want to reach out a little more.

8:18 AM  
Blogger Square1 said...

Is it possible that there may be something going on in her life that she's not inclined to share, something she may be struggling with privately? We so often make another person's actions out to be about us when it may have absolutely nothing to do with ourselves at all. I'm really bad about this, don't know about you, but it's something to consider.

Her lack of communication may not at all be an indicator of how much she values your friendship. It may be an indication that she's having some sort of trouble and just doesn't know how to talk about it, and trying to talk about anything else for her might feel hopeless or akward. It's possible that she may even be afraid of what you may think of her if she does try to communicate what's going on in her life.

This is not necessarily the case. Nothing bad may be going on at all... but it's something to consider before jumping to the cnclusion that she just doesn't care about the friendship.

8:57 AM  
Blogger Angi said...

I have to agree with the depression thing. I have seen many times when the phone rings, and I fail to pick up, mainly because I didn't feel like dealing with other humans, I didn't feel like putting on a happy voice, or taking on a cheerful tone.

You may have to do something drastic to get her to talk. But if it is so worth it to you, then do it.

2:46 PM  
Blogger Marykay said...

I don't know what the deal is with your friend, but sometimes I don't return right away for a multitude of reasons (some of them above) -- going through a trying time or depressed; just to darn busy -- all those kids and activities and schedules; sometimes too tired ,even if I could call I wouldn't be coherent. Understanding the seasons of life makes it somewhat easier for me. I do hope you hear from her soon, though, just to ease your mind.

3:15 PM  
Blogger Christi said...

Ummm, I don't know anything about this depression thing or whatever, but I kinda know what you mean. Well, I haven't had a problem with friends that I can think of. I have a lot of family, though, that thinks that it's okay to never get in touch with me. However, as soon as I get in touch with them, they go off about how long it's been and why haven't I kept in touch. ???

I think that if your friend isn't returning your calls or emails, you should try one more time and ask her what her deal is. You might want to use some tact, but let her know that if she is really a friend she will return your calls, even if just to say she can't talk for a while. It's not fair to you to be so upset b/c she doesn't feel like returning a call. If she needs help, then you may be able to offer some if she lets you know what's up.

6:35 PM  

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