Saturday, October 22, 2005

Wal-Mart: Owned by Satan or Not?

My brilliant and handsome husband had the good sense to release me from the shackles of my bondage. He and his friend took the children to the pumpkin patch today (despite protests from one of the 12-year olds: "I hate the pumpkin patch! It's stupid! I won't go!") while I went out. And about. Alone. For hours.

I found myself wandering in a secret passageway I never knew existed at the local public library. Who knew there were stairs in that building? Today was a library book sale and I came away with a bag full of books that cost me only $12.50. I can not die until I am 127 years old because I have so many books stacked up waiting to be read. (Alas, I am going to temporarily give up Gilead, which won a Pultizer Prize. I wanted to love this book, but I'm just bogged down and everytime I read it, I literally fall asleep. I'm going to start a new book.)

Then, I went to Wal-Mart, where I wasted a great deal of time cruising up and down the aisles, doing a little Christmas shopping while I waited for my film to be developed. We don't have our very own Wal-Mart here, so I had to drive a bit to get to one. I know some people think Wal-Marts are actually run by Satan, but I love Wal-Mart.

My love for Wal-Mart goes back to the days when I lived in northern Michigan. Hold up your left hand, fingers closed--we lived at the left base of your pointer-finger fingernail. One year, the snow began in October and we didn't see grass again until March. Since we didn't own snowmobiles and didn't ice-fish, our entertainment involved shopping at the local Wal-Mart--which was a good thirty-minutes from our house. (Everything was thirty minutes from our house, except for the moose and wild turkeys and the kids who sniffed glue back in the woods on the edge of our ten acres.) I loved Wal-Mart (and I never disrespected it by calling it "Wallyworld," either) because it made northern Michigan almost bearable. I even spent one wedding anniversary shopping at Wal-Mart.

Those were four long years. And that was before I had the internet, so just sit still for a minute and feel sympathetic.

Thank you. And good-night.


Blogger Angi said...

A trip to Walmart sans children? That is my fantasy!!!! You have just lived my fantasy, I am so jealous. ;)

1:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

yep - I HATE walmart. They are evil to work with. If you are a company with product in their stores they will pin you down until you yell "uncle!" and are selling your product for 100% loss just to have it in Walmart. And they know that you will do it so they laugh their evil laugh and sit on you. And if you show signs of revolt - they squash and destroy and you never see the likes of the blue store again.

That is why I hate Walmart. Plus I just like Target better - cleaner, wider aisles, less people, I don't have to sell my soul...


5:28 AM  
Anonymous Donna said...

Hey Mel, I'm so happy you have found wedded bliss with Wal-Mart. Like Karri here, I'm a Target girl myself, but I do get my pics developed at, um, Wally World. I'm glad you had time for yourself. you've got a good man :O)

5:38 AM  
Blogger Shelly said...

Walmart is it Mel...well it's not Kohl's, but they're a different animal. I actually prefer going there with my little Bump. Then it gives me a good excuse to do all the really fun things - like put him on the lawn tractors, oogle at the fish, bounce balls in the aisles, look at all the toys three times, get excited in the produce section, ride the 50 cent train and win a basketball in the "skill crane" after having purchased a bottle of juice in the machines out front just for the joy of having Bump push the button and wait for it to come down.

9:40 AM  
Blogger WordsRock said...

Why do you consider it disrespectful to call it Wallyworld?

If you were to come out here and shop at our local Wal-Mart, you would have an understanding of why I drive the extra three miles to get to the Target at the top of the hill. The place is a pit.

Your husband does exhibit a great deal of good sense. Or have you just trained him well? :)


10:21 AM  
Blogger Judy said...

I prefer Target.

11:55 AM  
Blogger ginabina said...

I too love Wal-mart, Mel! However, we don't have Target here in Hawaii...I miss Target soooo much!

I can't wait to get back to the mainland and have a *choice*.

Okay, we do have K-mart, but aside from some cute Martha Stewart stuff, K-mart generally sucks.

2:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love Walmart. They've always been kind to me, and go out of their way to help me. And they're not on top of me trying to "help yoy find something". Besides, they have the riding carts without which I couldn't shop. The only other stores in which I found riding carts are Target and Kmart.

8:29 PM  
Blogger Chelsea said...

The last commen was mine. I seem to be having a hard time logging on. This will be the third time I've tried, including me comment. I'm doing this from my Ipaq so maybe that's it.

8:37 PM  
Anonymous mopsy said...

I bleed red. I'm a Target girl.

7:40 AM  
Blogger Julana said...

You had TEN ACRES in Michigan? I'm a little green. Even if it was snow-covered half the year.

9:13 AM  
Blogger Paul said...

Love Walmart - especially the Super Centers. If only we had 24 hour Walmarts in Canada. Then I wouldn't have to drive down to the States for my bi-yearly fix!

9:53 AM  
Blogger Gina said...

Uh, yeah, Wal-Mart is corporate evil at its most frightening.

I refuse to shop there.

Their attempts (so far successful, I might add) to quash any unionization of their workers is disgusting.

Target for me.

7:29 PM  
Blogger Michael Tyas said...

Wow, so much comment from so little Wal Mart.

I made a video about it a few weeks ago.

I used to work there too. It was my Wal Mart anniversary boycott overneshness.

9:55 PM  
Blogger Tina said...

My kids were excited last week, because I took them across town to the OTHER Walmart. Yeah...that was really exciting. I usually avoid it, and not on's the insanity and claustrophobia I don't like.

8:56 AM  

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