How Things Used To Be

Here are the things I used to do:

1) Ride my bicycle long distances and then camp by the side of the road. When I was 14, I rode with my stepmom, brother and sister to San Francisco--from Seattle. We boarded a bus in San Francisco and headed south past Los Angeles, all the way to San Diego. On that trip, we went to Disneyland, Knott's Berry Farm, Universal Studios, and the San Diego Zoo. I haven't been back to California--other than the airport, since.

2) Ride on airplanes. When I was 16, I flew to Tahiti with a group of teenage girls for a 10 day stay. We were purportedly helping missionaries, but I think we were more trouble than help. But oh, what a blast! I received letters from a Tahitian boy named Jean-Claude for a long time after my return home. In French. Which I used to be able to read fluently.

When I was 17, I flew to Jamaica on another missions trip. Unfortunately, by then, my authority-questioning had begun and I was again, more trouble than help. I climbed a waterfall and rode in a Jeep to the heart of the island. When I left, I spent a frightening night alone in the Miami airport when my flight was rescheduled.

I flew to Florida with my husband before we had children. We stayed with our rich friends in their rich parents' luxurious home. We rode on their yacht and swam in their pool. We fished in the deep blue sea and grilled the fish for dinner.

3) Move. I used to move a lot. I left the Pacific Northwest for college in Springfield, Missouri when I was 18. My dad put me on a Greyound bus--yes, that would be 4 days, 3 nights--when I left for school. During college, I had various summer jobs--one summer, I was a nanny in Branson, Missouri. The next two summers, I worked in Charlotte, North Carolina. During my breaks, I visited New York City, Boston, Rochester (New York), Philadelphia, Birmingham, Alabama, Kansas City, Wichita, and Tulsa.

After I was married, we lived in New Haven, Connecticut and Troutdale, Oregon, and Atlanta, Michigan.

4) Highlight my hair. I fought for many years to remain blond. I put my trust in colorists from Portland to Kansas City to Gaylord, Michigan, to Seattle. I found one I truly loved, one who made housecalls and made me look "natural."

5) Sleep in.

6) Buy shoes. I shopped for shoes whenever I had the chance. I matched clothes to shoes, instead of the other way around. I used to wear a pair of pink Chuck Taylor Converse shoes. I had a pair of hot pink and deep periwinkle ballet flats. I wore heels. My feet used to hurt from my shoes.

Now, I have children. I no longer travel, fly in airplanes, sleep in hotels, move, visit other cities, color my hair or wear shoes that hurt. By the time my baby girl reaches kindergarten in 2008, I will have been living with babies and/or preschoolers for 15 years. My husband jokes that we missed the Family Planning Class.

Some day, I'll have something interesting to discuss with other adults. When I leave the house, I won't have to change my shirt because I have a booger smeared on it. I just might--maybe--fly on an airplane again and even have a layover long enough to read a whole "People" magazine. I might even relearn how to walk in high heels.

In the meantime, I'll live vicariously through other journals and novels. In my spare time.