How I Almost Killed My Baby

The weeds are growing like . . . well, weeds and we saw a woodpecker in the backyard. Yesterday, a scraggly robin played in our backyard, tempting our cat to have him for lunch. A lone orange and yellow tulip blooms in the flowerbed. The grass seed will not sprout, which is probably because I haven't watered it because we are constantly out in the backyard.

This morning, Babygirl and DaycareKid and YoungestBoy and I are outside. DaycareKid's climbing the slide. Babygirl was running around and I was surveying the flower beds where I'd weeded yesterday. YoungestBoy says, "Hey, mom, want to play catch?" I say, "Okay," and he tosses the ball high in the sky. Doing my best Ken Griffey, Jr. move, I sidestep and hop backwards and grab the ball. At the exact moment the ball dropped into my hand, I realized that Babygirl has sneaked up and was directly beneath where I was about to land.

In fact, she had fallen when I bumped into her and I was about to crush her skull with the entire weight of my body. I suddenly turned into Sydney on Alias and rotated in midair and came down hard on my hip and my hand without snuffing out the life of my precious little baby daughter. I still don't exactly know how I didn't land directly on her.

YoungestBoy yelled out, "Hey, cool! That was awesome!!"

Babygirl cried. Hard.

I picked up Babygirl, surveyed her for blood, found none. Took DaycareKid off the slide and came inside without another word to YoungestBoy. I knew he thought he was in trouble, but it was not his fault that I almost killed his sister. It was just one of those accidents--the kind my husband thinks are preventable--and I went in before I said anything I'd regret.

Babygirl was fine. The side of her head was red, I suppose from where she's hit the ground. She looks okay now. I'm fine. My hand's a little skinned.

A bit later, YoungestBoy knocked on the window and I went outside and he said in a resigned voice, "I know. I'm in trouble." I said, "No, you aren't. It was an accident. I just went inside because I was really scared because I almost hurt your sister. It wasn't your fault."

Get me a padded room, stat! Or at least get me an inflatable protective suit for my baby, one with a big old helmet so she can't be hurt in any way, ever.