Life with Terrorists

I'm living with a terrorist. She doesn't speak much English. She demands sole rights to all the territory. She stinkbombs the house. From the beginning, she insisted upon full attention. Despite her limited English vocabulary, she makes her desires clear through screams and occasional physical demonstrations. She's been known to grab hair and shove.

They say you should never negotiate with terrorists. And I don't. I meet her demands. And when I can't, I just live with the consequences--tantrums and a brain drilled through with incessant noise.

I've figured it out. I have been living in this occupied territory for over ten and a half years now. I will not be free of this terrorist presence until the year 2006. We have negotiated a peace agreement which will take effect then. It's called "Kindergarten."

Until then, the occasional cease-fire will have to do.