My Impressive Feat

Our downstairs toilet has been malfunctioning for a long time. Maybe a year. My husband is not handy, but he likes to be helpful, so he bought a $7 item last year that he thought would help. It was a small box containing the "guts" of the inside of the toilet. Only problem: said parts were not the problem.

I knew what the problem was because I drained the tank and stuck my hand into the murky depths and felt around. The flapper had deteriorated badly and so the water ran all the time. I couldn't tell why the handle didn't work, but the flapper was definitely a problem. It was not sealing at all.

However, I have a bit of a time issue. I have so very little time to myself outside of this house that I am loathe to spend it at Home Depot. If I get out of the house, I grocery shop alone so I can think straight. Is this package a better deal than this package? What else do we need? Is that man coming into the store wearing a skirt? That sort of thing.

Or I go to the YMCA. Or a movie. I don't want to spend precious time trolling the aisles of Home Depot.

So, our toilet has made noise sometimes, leaking water. If it doesn't stop after a bunch of flushing, then I'd turn off the water at the source. It's the least-used bathroom in the house, so I just ignored it. Sometimes, the boys used it and I didn't know it and it smelled like an outhouse. Blech.

But my Helpful Husband decided today was the day. He wanted to fix it. I drained the tank, removed the faulty flapper, removed the handle and put it all in a zip-loc bag for him. I told him to tell the guys at the store that this was what we needed. Sure enough, five bucks later, we had the parts.

So, I installed the handle. Installed the flapper. The handle still didn't work. I peered into the other toilet that worked and figured out that the reason the handle didn't work was because the chain was too long. So, I shortened the chain. Twice. And voila! I have fixed the toilet! Half the time, I was holding Babygirl in one arm and she supervised.

Now, if the repairman-handyman guy we have used before had done that, it would have cost $50--at least. It cost us $5.

What is really pathetic is how good I felt after I fixed this toilet. My life has become a little tiny snippet in which a repaired toilet is cause for celebration and good vibes for the remainder of the day. I felt like I didn't have to accomplish another thing all day because I had reached my quota.

But I cooked dinner anyway.