Tuesday, April 11, 2006

What's Hiding In Your Purse?

When he finally went through her purse while she showered, he found what he expected: a cell phone she'd hidden from him. And in that cell phone was the telephone number of a man and telephone numbers for a divorce lawyer or two.

Think what you will about that, but I suppose that you never really understand a marriage unless you are in the middle of it. (And maybe not even then.) From my vantage point, I see a live grenade about to explode in the living room at the feet of their three children. I cannot believe anyone would pull the pin and throw an explosive device into her own family, but it happens all the time. I wish I could stop it, stop her, warn her, but I know she'd never listen because she'd say I don't understand.

And I know that I can't possibly understand the dynamics in anyone else's marriage. Not really. Not completely.

But I do know what I hide in my purse. And I want to know what you hide in your purse.

(Reese's Pieces or chocolate. What? You expected maybe a handgun?)

34 Comments:

Blogger deedee said...

Expensive lip balm that I don't want my daughters getting into. Oh, and a receipt for over $100 worth of children's clothes that I am not ready for my husband to see. Boring, huh?

12:40 AM  
Blogger red fish said...

Pass the Pigs. It's a game I pull out at breaktime at work occasionally, or when hubby and I are waiting for food at a restaurant. If my girls knew it was there the pigs would become toys and I'd never see them again.

4:01 AM  
Blogger Judy said...

A keychain "Boggle" game.

4:50 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Emergency chocolate and coupons that are always expired by the time I get organized enough to use them at the grocery! Sigh...nothing too titillating. I'm a first time visitor to your blog and now you've got me intrigued on that cell phone saga!

5:19 AM  
Blogger Sandy said...

(this is so embarrassing, but...) I have, in the far "secret pocket" of my purse, a small bottle with advil, midol, gas-X and imodium; a travel size deoderant (never let 'em see you sweat), a $10 bill (for emergencies), and a pair of all purpose small hoop ear rings (in case I forgot to put some on).

5:51 AM  
Blogger that girl said...

pens. i'm a colored pen addict.

i've got the standard black and blue, plus red, navy, cobalt, mahogany, forest, light green, orange, fuchsia, pink, purple, bright green, and a pencil.

i also hide little packs of sappy blank-on-the-inside notecards in case someone needs a happy thought.

5:58 AM  
Blogger that girl said...

i just realized that i've also got 4 sharpies in there - 2 thick black ones, a fine-point black one, and a purple double-header (fine on one end, thick on the other)...

5:59 AM  
Blogger Heather Plett said...

My journal - can't leave THAT lying around. And some chocolate, now and then.

6:59 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Dark chocolate, the expensive kind which is supposed to be good for me in ways I currently do not remember.
It is not in there to hide it from the kid; she finds dark chocolate foul and I can eat in front of her without a problem. It is in there to hide it from the dog, because who needs that trip to the pet E.R.?

7:09 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A tube of anti-itch cream that came with the Monistat that I bought for my yeast infection 2 months ago.

I never want to be caught with that.

7:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

NOTHING. My husband and kids think my purse is public domain.

7:56 AM  
Blogger Goslyn said...

Purse? What purse? Oh, you mean that monster diaper bag that I haul around?

SO ... in my "purse" I hide ... at least 5 clean diapers, a change of clothes for the baby, a bar of soap, breast pads, baby lotion, diaper cream, a full-sized bottle of baby powder and a vial of baby tylenol. Plus an assortment of toys and snacks.

How I long for a purse in which to hide chocolate ...

8:23 AM  
Blogger Anita said...

Nothing interesting at the moment. On occasion you may find a ball of yarn, or a sock in the knitting process, or maybe a swatch of fabric, or a camera. The rest is the usual boring stuff - pens, cell phone, receipts, etc.

8:31 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Sandy, I don't think all that stuff is embarassing. You just have the Boy Scout motto covered, "Be Prepared." You're the kind of person I like to go on excursions with. You've got all the bases covered. My purse is too much of a disaster to intentionally keep secret stuff in. Usually, what is in there becomes a secret to me. What? I have a $20 bill in there? Cool!

8:39 AM  
Blogger Marisa said...

I always have a camera in my bag, because you never know when something in the world is going to demand that you take a picture of it.

8:43 AM  
Blogger Eyes for Lies said...

Some people really want to self-destruct. They come up with every excuse in the book why no one will understand. They choose to be the victims in their lives. Hidding things doesn't work. Honesty does. Always. End of story.

What do I hide in my purse? A bunch of fabric samples, a tub sample and woodwork samples. But its not secret. The hubby knows about it all. I don't keep secrets.

8:44 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My inhaler, lipstick, sunglasses, and at any given time there are about ten Target receipts wadded.

There is also a tampon in there, despite the fact I am pregnant.

8:51 AM  
Blogger Gina said...

I have nothing secret in my purse, aside for the occasional treats I can pull out for Mr. Personality when he is hungry.

There isn't much room left with my 10 lipsticks in there.

Oh, except for old receipts.

8:55 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I always have sugarless gum, sugar-free mints and a secret, secret stash of cash...I am saving up. When it reaches a certain amount I remove it from my purse and hide it in the pocket of an old blazer in my closet and start saving all over again. By summer time we will be able to take the Grand Canyon trip my husband tells me we can't afford! :)

~K!

9:03 AM  
Blogger Michelle said...

I have a pack of plain m&ms although I am diabetic and not supposed to eat them! :)

9:26 AM  
Blogger Stephanie Wilson she/her @babysteph said...

No purse but my big Petunia Picklebottom diaper bag which I love even tho it's a lug... and it does have a tiny secret pocket that I hide a credit card in (I think I am hiding it from myself)- I haven't used it yet, but am haunted and *know* it's there! My rationale is that it is for an emergency. But that is NOT why it is hidden!

9:39 AM  
Blogger Carrien Blue said...

I wonder why my purse is so heavy sometimes, and then I look through it. Yes it is a secret place, It's contents are often a mystery to me as well. A tin of Tangerine Altoids that are only half gone but I haven't touched in over a month because I've gone off sugar. I can't take them out becuase my kids will find them and they can't have sugar either. Another tin almost empty of Trader Joe's dragon breath cinnamon gum. It's been there almost a year. One third of an old, almost three months, bar of organic dark chocolate that I forgot about. HAnd disinfectant, tiny hair elastics for my daughter's hair, a mini kids book for unexpected waits and emergency entertainment, dental floss, BUrt's bee's blush compact. ( I wear make-up maybe once a month, how come that's there?) chapstick, a small journal that I rarely write in, a church directory for a church in a country I no longer live in. Cards and post cards that I bought on the last road trip with plans to send, old photo developing stubs, the photos have long since been picked up. An Amtrak voucher that I have year to redeem. (The purse is the only place safe where it won't get lost, only forgotten HAHA)and a yellow sucker that some well intentioned grown-up handed to my child before asking me if it was okay and I confiscated it because I am the sugar NAZI and don't let my kids poison themselves. MYself on the other hand, sometimes I cave and buy the Altoids, and then after enjoying them for a while I read the label, and I can't eat anymore because it's so above the 9 grams a day I try to keep myself to so they stay in my purse.

10:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What's hiding in my purse? All the crap I'm constantly looking for and can never find when I need it.

And all the old receipts that I can find plenty of and that spill out everywhere while I'm looking for those other things.

11:30 AM  
Blogger Kristin said...

lordy, my purse has a gazillion pens and receipts... a paperback mystery novel, three lip glosses and a compact... a power bar and a bottle of fiji water... there is also a bib a diaper and a small "my pretty pony"... no wonder my damn back hurts!

also, short of abuse, i wouldn't be blowing up my family for anything... even on the rare dark days of marriage...

12:18 PM  
Blogger ~Jennifer said...

I'm not hiding anything. Not in my purse, anyway. ;-)

I took a picture of the insides of my purse after being issued a challenge by another blogger. It was fun to see what everyone had in their bags.

1:39 PM  
Blogger Rae said...

These days it's the Cadbury Minis.

3:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hiding in my cellphone, under a name only we know, is a married mans phone number.

I guess you could say I can relate to this entry.

Tara

3:35 PM  
Blogger Diane Viere said...

What do I hide in my purse? Nothing as dramatic as a cell phone with hidden numbers! However, let me repeat....HOWEVER, I have been known to hide a bill or two in my purse...to avoid conflict until my hubby is in a better mood! Hey--that's called coping! No--even better...that's called saving my marriage! :)

Diane

3:38 PM  
Blogger Susie said...

Nothing secret in my purse at all. But there is way too much stuff. Don't know why I am so hard on my back and shoulders!

4:40 PM  
Blogger Jody said...

I hate to even say this, but here goes.....I hide pregnancy tests. not because I am trying to get pregnant on the sly, but because my husband hates for me to spend money on them before I miss my period. I am just soooo not a patient person.

Hello, I am Jody, and I am an HPT (home pregnancy test) addict. ;*)

7:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nothing hidden in mine except maybe that extra pantiliner -- don't care if Hubby finds it, but wouldn't want it to fall out on the church lobby floor!

8:50 PM  
Blogger KMae said...

everything.
It's pathetic.
And heavy!

9:40 PM  
Blogger oshee said...

hmm..my secret purse contents...i have a pocket that holds only...crayons. The crayons we pick up after going out to eat with the kids. We never leave a crayon behind to be cleaned up or nastily reused. We sneak them into my purse. The kids remind me every now and again I have them. Ok not that scandalous, but i'll take what i got.

10:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Now? nothiing. Once, in a galaxy far far away...I hid bills from post office and safety deposit boxes I got when I realized my husband and I were entering the road to splitsville. It took me two years to build the cache and (courage) to 'invite' him to leave.
My daughter does have his 'money' gene so I do 'withhold' certain facts about my financial health-paper shredder is my new bestest friend.

10:51 AM  

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