Open Letter to Swiffer
Dear Swiffer:
I want to love you, Swiffer. I do. I like your convenience. I like your fresh, fake scent. I like the disposable nature of your cleaning pads.
But Swiffer, we do not see eye to eye. Why, you ask? Well, because, Swiffer, you are too short.
I'm taller than the average American woman, true. I stand five feet, seven inches tall, while the average American woman is only five feet, four inches tall. When I use you, Swiffer, I must bend at an awkward angle, an angle that screams, "CALL THE CHIROPRACTOR!" I don't have the heart to tell my lower back that I don't have a chiropractor.
What I need is a longer Swiffer, a sturdier Swiffer, a Swiffer who can rise to the occasion. Please. I want to love you! I want to devote myself to you! But you make it difficult.
So, please, grow up a little. Grow a spine. Grow taller. Get some hair on your chest. (Oh, wait, I'm drifting off topic now.) I'm just saying that if you want me to cherish you, you have to do your part.
(I won't even mention how sexist it is that Swiffer is completely aimed at a woman consumer. An average American man at five feet, nine inches tall would cry out from back pain like a baby girl if he attempted to vigorously scrub the kitchen floor with your woefully inadequate too-short handle.)
Please, please answer my pleas. My back begs you. Don't make me go back to an old-fashioned mop.
Love and kissesSincerely,
Mel
I want to love you, Swiffer. I do. I like your convenience. I like your fresh, fake scent. I like the disposable nature of your cleaning pads.
But Swiffer, we do not see eye to eye. Why, you ask? Well, because, Swiffer, you are too short.
I'm taller than the average American woman, true. I stand five feet, seven inches tall, while the average American woman is only five feet, four inches tall. When I use you, Swiffer, I must bend at an awkward angle, an angle that screams, "CALL THE CHIROPRACTOR!" I don't have the heart to tell my lower back that I don't have a chiropractor.
What I need is a longer Swiffer, a sturdier Swiffer, a Swiffer who can rise to the occasion. Please. I want to love you! I want to devote myself to you! But you make it difficult.
So, please, grow up a little. Grow a spine. Grow taller. Get some hair on your chest. (Oh, wait, I'm drifting off topic now.) I'm just saying that if you want me to cherish you, you have to do your part.
(I won't even mention how sexist it is that Swiffer is completely aimed at a woman consumer. An average American man at five feet, nine inches tall would cry out from back pain like a baby girl if he attempted to vigorously scrub the kitchen floor with your woefully inadequate too-short handle.)
Please, please answer my pleas. My back begs you. Don't make me go back to an old-fashioned mop.
Mel
posted by Melodee at Thursday, March 02, 2006
26 Comments:
You have sold me on never buying a Swiffer.
At 5'11", I finally had to just get on my hands and knees and use the swiffer 'pads' to do this...
I do use it occasionally to dust my ceiling of the ceiling fan "sludge".
I'm 6'5" - EVERYTHING is too small - you get used to it, and in time, you end up stooped over anyway.
Hate to break it to you, but I'm 5'4"- well, just shy of that by about 1/2" - and the swiffer is too short for me, too.
So it's not just you Amazons out there.
I totally and completely agree with you. Me and my Swifter aren't talking either. Come one we can't even see eye to eye. I have to enlist one of my kids- it builds character. At least I think so. Lisa Marie
At six feet, three and a half inches, all I can say is, "AMEN!" And unfortunately I can't get the dogs to do it for me.
Luckily I am short. But that is the perfect reason for my dh (6'8") to never have to use it.
YOu need to mail this letter to the Swiffer company. Just fyi...I'm 5'2" and the bathroom cleaner thingie by the bald-headed guy (mind going blank on the company name)....well it's just fine and dandy for cleaning the tub/shower, but it is entirely WAY TOO SHORT for cleaning the floors.
I echo your prayer. At 6'1", using my Swiffer usually results in a torrent of obscenities and a Thing being launched across the room with great force.
i'm 5'4" and it's too short for me, too.
i think they designed it to keep us stooped and submissive. :)
5 ft 10½ here....
amen!!!!!!!!!
Have you considered printing out all the comments to send with the letter to the swifter company? I at 5'10" also am unable to effectively use the swifter mop. My house mostly all tiled and I have bought many things trying to make the clean up quicker and easier.
Not only is it too short, it doesn't allow for any downward push (I'm thinking the wet swiffer mopper thingy). If I push hard enough to clean anything that has dried, it gets all curvy on me and threatens to snap in two. I'm with you, I WANT to love the swiffer, but I despise it instead.
I'm short, and it's ok for me to sweep with. But can someone please explain how they make the wet pads stay on the darn thing while applying any amount of force? The only way I've found is to rubber band them on.
The "swiffer company" is actually Procter and Gamble who also own Luvs and Pampers, gillette, Oil of Olay, Clairol and thousands of other brands. But funny thing is I used to get paid to test swiffer for their consumer village and NOT ONCE did it every occur to me that it was too short - until tonight when I used it in my kitchen. You are so right! Funny.
I emailed a link to this post to Proctor and Gamble just for fun. I'll let you know if I hear back.
i'm 5'4" and it still hurts my back. of course, generally all housework does...at least, that's my excuse.
I *knew* there was a reason I liked you!
Plus I am even taller....5'9''. And 1/4.
So no Swiffer for me either, apparently.
I agree & I'm 5'6". it is just a bit short for me. Ya know with the exception of shovels, they are all too short.
Marcy, I was gonna say the same thing! LOL! To me the most effective way to mop your floor (you're gonna cringe) is on my hands and knees. And yep, it's been a while since my floor was mopped....
Thou art hillarious, but which of us by taking thought can add one inch to his stature? :)
I hope the two of you work it out.
Can you please please sign my name to that letter? I'm 5'9 and after I'm done cleaning I have to slowly stand back up as I cry out in pain!
If you ask me, Jack-on-the-lake is getting off way too easy. By his own admission, this is his fault!!!
Oh, Jack...do you now see the serious consequences of your job?
If you hate the swiffer - check out the real deal -- what probably motivated the swiffer people:
http://www.vacuumcleaners.net/vacuum_cleaners/products/eureka_r300_enviro_steame_10304.html
The Eureka R300 Enviro Steamer
I couldn't live without this thing! I picked it up at Target for around $60.00 It doesn't require any detergents or anything. You get two pads and they'll last you 2 years or so!
In the end, it is MUCH, MUCH Cheaper and it has an adjustable telescopic handle.
Check it out. I LOVE IT.
Another short country heard from -- five three here, and its too short for me -- especially when I'm cleaning cobwebs out of the ceiling corners.
So, you go, sister girl!!!
~C~
Yes, I now see the error of my ways. :)
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