Tuesday, December 20, 2005

A Morally Superior Word to You Know Who You Are

Ever have someone say this to you? "By the way, for someone who claims such moral and Christian superiority, you seem to have an issue with forgiveness. Not very Christ-like."?

I have.

. . . I suppose that's what I get for speaking my mind on my own blog about my troubled relationship with my sister, the one who stole from me and then refused to speak to me for three years (and counting).

. . . I suppose that's what I get for admitting that I am a Christian and for allowing my small corner of the blogosphere to glimpse into my life without glossing over the rough spots with Christian platitudes and phrases that ultimately mean nothing.

. . . I suppose that's what I get for allowing ridiculous anonymous comments to remain on my blog, even when the commenter calls me an "uptight bitch" and accuses me of the silliest behavior imaginable

. . . I suppose that's what I get when all I do is tease about the lack of punctuation and appropriate sentence structure instead of ripping her to shreds with a flick of my keyboard. I use what we like to call "self-control" rather than attack the character of the commenter in return. For all I know, the commenter is a disturbed mental patient and how fair would it be for me to assume that the commenter is a rational adult? (What rational adult would criticize a blogger anonymously with venom? Just move along to the next blog--there are 10 kajillion blogs in the world. Pick another one.) This is certainly not my only recourse, but generally, that's how I choose to handle the poor souls who stumble through my blog and anonymously offer their off-base, name-calling criticisms. Or I delete them. Depends on my mood.

Just one question, though. I did a search of my blog and couldn't find a single instance of my own gloating about my moral and Christian superiority, unless, of course, you count the time I mentioned how disappointed I was about Lance Armstrong's broken marriage. I stand by my own feelings . . . which, hello, this is my blog, the place where I deposit my own feelings and examine my own thoughts. If you are here looking for someone else's viewpoint, you are lost.

And if you are here, hoping to fix me, edify me, point out my flaws, I just have to say, why? Are you a therapist without a practice? A writer without a blog? A person without a real life?

And if you are here because you can't look away from my riveting prose, I say, ha! (And I know you can't look away. My statcounter tells me that.)

And if you have no idea what I'm talking about, that's because I'm talking to only one person who is a big fan of my blog, yet hides in the shadows when she throws her stink bombs. That, my friends, is despicable. One might even call it pathetic.

And it hurts my feelings. So go away.


Blogger Gina said...

Yeah, go away! Either that or quit skulking and take responsibility for the things you say.

Oh, but that would require a person with ethics, so I guess it's not gonna happen.

You want a piece of me? Huh?

Mel, I think you have an inkling as to who it might be?

10:47 PM  
Blogger scribbler of dreams said...

Hey, just wanted to say, I'm a new reader, and I'm enjoying your blog bunches!! :)

and yeah, whoever is giving you a hard time must not have a life... and that is sad.

Well, I'm looking forward to reading often!

5:17 AM  
Blogger Judy said...

I love my site meter.

It's like caller ID.

Those who think they are being undetected are going to have to start showing up around town in white robes with pointy hats.

5:41 AM  
Blogger tab said...

sounds like one of those "trolls" to me...you know the kind that will pop onto a message board w/a few words to basically get everyone's feathers all out of place.

Spoil their pleasure and don't even give them the time of day on your blog.

When one looks at another's "flaws" or what another struggles with (especially in efforts to tear them down) they do so to make them feel better about themselves.

6:02 AM  
Blogger Cuppa said...

Things have been picking up speed around here and I haven't had time to read many blogs, let alone make comments, but I just had to take a minute this morning to stop and send you a "cyber hug". Yours is one of the few blogs I always make time for even on busy days!

Whoever said "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me" didn't know what he was talking about. I feel for you hunny.
Hope the cyber hugs helps a bit.

6:56 AM  
Blogger red fish said...

My guess is that his/her issue is with God, not with you. I don't get "I'm a Christian, I'm better than you" from your blog. I get "Thank you God for getting me through another day."

7:03 AM  
Blogger Anvilcloud said...

Me? I'm going to start posting anonymous messages. They put you in rare and delightful form.

7:08 AM  
Blogger Stacy said...

I always feel sorry for anyone who is that angry and bitter. Personally, I welcome the way you write. I'm coming out of a very rough couple of years spent healing from all the 'love and forgiveness' of my previous church. Reading posts by you and others has let me see that I wasn't crazy in my ideas of what Christians could be. Thank you.

7:35 AM  
Blogger methatiam said...

I used to teach computer classes. At the end of the session, I would hand out surveys to see how it went.
If I got a hundred positive replies and a single negative, it was the negative I'd obsess over.
I have two lines of defense against such small people:
1. I don?t allow anonymous postings
2. No one reads my Blog anyway.
Here?s another pro-Mel vote.

7:42 AM  
Blogger Debra said...

Mel, I LOVE your blog and I read it nearly every day. I think there comes a time for all of us to realize that not everyone in this life is going to agree with us or like us--but that must be ok with us and we must let it go if we are to continue doing what God asks us--otherwise the hurt could cause us to quit and not complete God's plan--and that would be a tragedy. How God feels about us is what matters most, after all. He is the one we should ask how we are doing. Merriest of Christmas wishes to you and thank-you for being so faithful with your blog... Debra

8:11 AM  
Blogger The Dung Beetle said...

I went looking through your recent posts, but was unable to locate the cowardly post that you speak of. Perhaps you already deleted it, which in my opinion, is all the consideration it deserved.

Words that are meant to challenge a certain perspective mean nothing if one is unwilling to be accountable for them. It would be an error to give any audience to a cowardly attack like this.

It would be like boxing with a ghost... and since ghosts haven't been proven to exist, why try to verbally slug it out with one?

I say, D.A.D. (Delete And Disregard. Not sure why poor old Dad gets mistreated in this acronym, but it helps make my point, so I'll go with it.)

9:05 AM  
Blogger Tossing Pebbles in the Stream said...

You make me wish I was there to hold and comfort you. It is OK to let a little pain and annoyance show once it a while. This is all part of being a multi-dimensional personality. For a person to not recognize that and be empathetic but to seize on one thing like a dog with a bone, is just that: a bitch achieving nothing. Hugs to you and keep on blogging in all dimensions.

9:27 AM  
Blogger karri said...

Cyberbullies are the worst kind there are. They are too cowardly to be mean face-to-face so they hide behind the internet and attack from the comfort of their chair.

Sad and pitiful.

10:25 AM  
Blogger Beth said...

I think it's inspirational to hear that although you are a pastor's wife, you still have real feelings and that you are not afraid to share them with the rest of us. It makes me think maybe there's hope for me too. you rock, Mel. and you're right, it's your blog, you're writing for you, not for the masses!

10:45 AM  
Blogger Dawn said...

You're feeding the trolls again! Don't do it! Don't be the victim of an emotional vampire!

11:34 AM  
Blogger wifemotherme said...

Don't' ch know that to the ignorant being a follower of Christ means you have to be Jesus Christ? Quick hurry up and be perfect. The troll is much like a stray dog, if you feed it, it hang around. Two things: 1. Never argue with a ignorant person, first they will drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.

2. It's about time we all see this for what it is. You have someone grappling with their own Spirituality. They want what you have (which means your doing your Christian walk perfectly well), So instead of spending time in prayer or study, out of INGORNACE they want to steal what you have. The Bible says your blessed because of this (Matt. 5:11). Take this blessing for what it is and give Glory to God in all things...even the ignorant.

12:13 PM  
Blogger The Dung Beetle said...


Disable anonymous posting.

Oh yeah... you could do that too.

Problem solved... that'll be $38.00. You'll receive my invoice in 3-5 business days.

12:49 PM  
Blogger mopsy said...

Mel...I created a stupid blogger account just to keep posting comments here! I guess I have another blog now (won't be actually writing anything there...)

I am sorry a troll has made you feel so miserable. I have *never* seen you put yourself on some pedastal of moral superiority. You often poke fun at yourself and you aren't afraid to show your humanity. That is part of the reason you are so popular.

I'll send you the bill for my "FREE!" blogger account. It ought to say something if a WordPress snob like moi goes blogger. It's for a good cause.

2:53 PM  
Blogger Scott and Karen said...

You're hysterical. You're real. You're the reason I keep spitting my Crispix cereal onto my keyboard in the mornings from senseless fits of laughter.

Heck, I'm not even all that religious but if I could find a church with a minister with your sensibilities and realism, I might just be compelled to attend (and even pay attention!)

Keep up the great blogging. You're very appreciated.

~Karen from GwenBlog

4:55 PM  
Blogger Mrs. Darling said...

Oh boy have I ever had my share of trolls. They love the the annon option on blogger. I wipe em out with one click! I refuse to put up with it. The last anon that popped up I allowed because I knew from my trusty site meter that it was a Mennonite and Lord knows I dont want to anger them! They're my roots woman. My heritage and all ya know?

Anons are cowards pure and simple!

Anons are trouble makers.

Anons think they have something to say when in reality their stuff stinks to the high heavens.

Anons need to be sprayed with Raid.

And lastly but not 'leastly' anons are always anon because in real life they are so jealous of the blog writer they cant even spit. They want your life. They're downright green with envy. Therefore they go under cover as anons.

They can then spew their green vomit all over. But we know the truth.
They leave here just as sad
and pitiful
and cowardly
and envious
as when they arrived.

There now. Thanks for letting me get that out of my system.

7:31 PM  
Blogger Krisco said...

I'm sorry that happened.
I had a mean comment once (I don't have near the traffic you have!) and it hurt me at first. Then I realized this guy was probably twelve and just using big words.
It is still a bummer though. Well, ALL the rest of us love your site so - you may not say this so I will - screw them! : )

I saw another great way to combat this - don't know if blogger allows it - but it required an "email of a friend." Then it emailed whatever they wrote to the email address. Thought it was brilliant.


9:14 PM  
Blogger The Daring One said...

It wasn't me, I promise. I will always identify myself before hurling insults. :)

12:18 AM  
Blogger Feeble Knees said...

Whoever s/he is, I hope s/he just goes and gets a life. Really. Such a waste of time, sitting around trolling like that. I feel sorry for such a person. There's so many more profitable things one could be doing with one's time.

Rock on Mel. Rock on.

4:32 PM  
Blogger dinodoc said...

Yay you disabled anonymous comments! Pity to lose it, but that's what happens when someone abuses the benefits.

I wonder if Anon is someone whose experience w/"Christians" is limited the the ones that wrap themselves in the Bible yet are anything but "little Christs". Unfortunately those are the ones that are usually the loudest.

Obviously Mel they can't get a clue that you are certainly not one of those!

12:23 AM  
Blogger Diddy-Win said...

Actually, Mel - I think the anonymous, critical ones are fun. They give us Mel fans a chance to jump on them like a pack of wild dogs and cuss to our hearts content!

11:38 AM  

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