Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Back and Better Than Ever, Though Insufferably Proud

What is today? Tuesday? And where was I yesterday? Let's think. I went shopping with a gift card and bought Christmas wrapping paper and assorted paraphernalia for 50% off the regular (already discounted price). Then I went to see "The Family Stone." While waiting for the movie to begin, I endured what may possibly be the worst holiday song ever recorded: "Saving Up Christmas" by the "Captain" (Daryl Dragon) and Tennille.

Now, see, I feel sort of rotten because I just linked to their official website and I liked Captain and Tennille back in the day--despite listening to my sister repeatedly play a scratchy record on her rickety record player when I was a kid--but that song! Oh dear, that Christmas song was not one of their better efforts--though perhaps my judgment was clouded by the popcorn and the sticky floors and the movie starting ten minutes late--but really, the duo recorded a song about muskrat love, so it's not exactly as if the bar was set unrealistically high in my mind. Maybe a true Captain and Tennille fan would slap me for saying so, but I didn't like that song. (And who even knew they were still around?)

I thought the movie itself was well-done with an impressive ensemble cast. I give it two thumbs up, but don't take my word for it. (Disclaimer: I'm not as sanctified as some church folk are, you know. Check Screenit if you have any concerns about what you might see.)

Sometime yesterday, I cleaned out the hall closet where the linens reside. "Linens" is such a fancy word for the balled up sheets that threaten to tumble from the closet when I open the door in search of a pillowcase. My fitted sheets never resemble the tidy rectangle I've seen Martha Stewart picture in her magazines. And I follow the directions, too, for tidy rectangles. Maybe my thread counts are too low. Anyway, I cleaned out that closet and threw away a giant box full of stuff. I'm ruthless sometimes, and only later when I hunt for a white queen-sized bed-skirt do I conjure up a fuzzy image of a box destined for Goodwill and taste bitter regret.

Last night, then, I cleaned my 7-year old's room. I used a big black trash bag so he wouldn't see what I tossed. I sorted through clothes and stuffed them into the bag, too, except for the ones small enough for the neighbor boy to wear. When I finally emerged, everything was in its place and there was a place for everything. It helps that we didn't go overboard with gifts at Christmas. Enough is enough, even on Jesus' birthday.

Today, then, I tackled my daughter's room. She has a large closet the length of one wall, the kind with a long rod and a shelf and sliding doors. I have traditionally stored the bins of off-size clothing in that closet and today was the day that I went through things again and weeded out what we don't need. I sorted them into piles and when my husband checked on me, he remarked that he was shocked so much stuff fit into that closet. I know. I'm a master closet-filler. But today was about emptying it out, not filling it up. I did linger over some of the smaller pajamas and frilly dresses and wonder how it's possible that a babyhood rushes by so quickly. If we pay closer attention, will that slow down the sweet moments?

My husband made two trips to Goodwill today, dragging huge black trash bags full of things we don't need. I have separate bags labeled in the closet--one of baby boy clothes, one of clothes destined for the consignment shop, one for a baby girl at church, and one full of sizes 0-3 months for some baby girl who hasn't been born yet. My daughter honed in on the pretty items and begged to wear various items of size 3-6 months clothing. She is so insistent (her mother says through gritted teeth).

During nap-time, I finished my task and now, that closet is tidy.

Something about a tidy closet makes me feel so virtuous. Add that to my insufferable pride over the the finished thank-you notes and I'm practically unbearable. Practically? Well. I am unbearable. Even I can't stand that gloating expression in my eyes.

Now, if I could only find the other child's size 9 purple boot, I'd be all set. I'm hoping it's in tomorrow's horror the front hall closet, the depository for all items which have no home and cannot simply live in the kitchen and so must be stashed somewhere when company is coming. (For instance: diapers for babies I babysit shoved onto the floor which crowd the vacuum cleaner, a food processor I got for free when I came into possession of a recalled toaster oven--when I called the company for a new part, they informed me it was recalled and gave me a choice of several difference appliances and I chose a food processor that I hardly ever use--games, with pieces missing, my wedding gown, winter coats, the George Foreman Grill, a box of Hickory Farms cheeses from Christmas 2004. And hopefully, one purple boot. . . )


Blogger Stacy said...

It's nice to know I'm not the only one who can't fold a fitted sheet to save her life.

5:06 AM  
Blogger Dawn said...

You can put me in that category. I get so angry that I purposely roll them up in balls and stuff them in the closet.

3:15 PM  
Blogger Elizabeth said...

"I'm ruthless sometimes, and only later when I hunt for a white queen-sized bed-skirt do I conjure up a fuzzy image of a box destined for Goodwill and taste bitter regret."

That's a brilliant sentence.

I don't give out accolades at the drop of a hat, you know.

5:12 PM  
Blogger Gina said...

Oh, I'm jealous, I have never gotten an accolade from eb. Just grief...

My mom and my sister went to see that movie yesterday and they were quite bitter that it ended on a depressing note. I was surprised because they are marketing it as a comedy.

My closets are a disaster, and I have tried for years to fold a fitted sheet and simply cannot do it. I make those stupid "false corners" and everything.

But I figure my life is just too short to worry about the perfection of my fitted sheets, so I don't worry too much.

8:38 PM  
Blogger Gem said...

I don't do such a great job folding the fitted sheet, but the trick to making it look tidy in the closet is to take both sheets and one pillowcase, make a litte stack and pop them inside the other pillowcase. Fold the end over the pile and voila! It LOOKS like you folded everything neatly, even if you sorta just jammed it all in there. I saw that "good thing" on one of the 2 times I ever watched Martha.

8:53 PM  
Blogger Mrs. Darling said...

yep I love a good clean closet! You go woman. And know what? I have a front hall closet that sounds about like yours! LOl

9:10 AM  
Blogger elswhere said...

Wait, I thought Muskrat Love was by Olivia Newton-John?

Oh and congratulations on your accolade!

10:40 AM  

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