Wednesday, November 09, 2005

The Awesome Power of My Bladder

My bladder has Superpowers. With a simple twitch of my bladder, I can alter events clear across the yard. My bladder creates a rift in the space-time continuum with nary a strain. My bladder causes otherwise calm children to run shrieking into the house, sobbing hysterically. Whenever my bladder speaks, havoc ensues among the docile inhabitants of my house, wherever they are.

In other words, when I pee, all hell breaks loose. Previously sleeping babies wake. Children enchanted by their favorite shows bicker and come to blows. The phone rings. The doorbell chimes. I'm telling you, my bladder has mysterious supernatural powers.

You don't want to know what happens when my colon rumbles.

13 Comments:

Blogger Vashti said...

Absolutely hilarious and sadly the truth!

2:46 PM  
Blogger Michelle said...

And I thought I was the only one with these powers! :)

3:38 PM  
Blogger Toni said...

Oh my... What a wonderful laugh I just had. Thanks!

3:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

tell us about the rest of your days of freedom. Did you sleep late and get breakfast served to you? Jackie

4:41 PM  
Blogger Anvilcloud said...

Just as well that you don't have to go every half hour on the half hour, forty-eight times a day. What a state the world would be in. We'd all be pissed off.

5:20 PM  
Blogger Diddy-Win said...

I still remember sitting on my toilet when my kiddies were little and one would be on my lap, while a couple more would be gathered around me while reading them a book! Glad THOSE days are over. NOW if we could just get the teenagers to bed early enough so they wouldn't be knocking on our bedroom door during.....

11:19 PM  
Blogger Eyes said...

I have mysterious shower-power. I can make the phone ring -- guaranteed -- every time!

7:28 AM  
Blogger Tina said...

LOL...I never thought of it as having POWERS...I love it!

8:02 AM  
Anonymous mopsy said...

Very funny!

9:35 AM  
Blogger WordsRock said...

Your bladder and our new dog Pixie's bladder have some things in common.

Suzanne

11:27 AM  
Blogger Crankenpants said...

I can make the phone ring while relaxing on the couch, but only after 10.

2:48 PM  
Blogger HomeJewel said...

Did you need to mention bladder to a 30-wk pregnant woman. That is not funny! Now I have to go ;)

5:01 PM  
Blogger Gina said...

Oh, so your'e one of THOSE.

;)

8:22 PM  

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