The Awesome Power of My Bladder

My bladder has Superpowers. With a simple twitch of my bladder, I can alter events clear across the yard. My bladder creates a rift in the space-time continuum with nary a strain. My bladder causes otherwise calm children to run shrieking into the house, sobbing hysterically. Whenever my bladder speaks, havoc ensues among the docile inhabitants of my house, wherever they are.

In other words, when I pee, all hell breaks loose. Previously sleeping babies wake. Children enchanted by their favorite shows bicker and come to blows. The phone rings. The doorbell chimes. I'm telling you, my bladder has mysterious supernatural powers.

You don't want to know what happens when my colon rumbles.