Monday, February 07, 2005

Want to Give Me a Star?

Here's what I don't want, never will want and think is completely stupid. Please do not name a star in my honor. If you want to give me something with "star" in its name, please give me the current issue of the National Enquirer, which features a story (and pictures!) called "Cellulite of the Stars." I feel compelled to rifle through this issue every time I see it while I wait to buy my fat-free milk, bananas, salad and chocolate.

But I have resisted.

Doesn't the idea that Britney Spears and Paris Hilton and even the stick figure known as Lara Flynn Boyle have cellulite give you a little thrill?

Well, maybe it's just me.


Blogger Brandie said...

ROFL!!! ;-)

9:53 PM  
Blogger Eyes said...

Yes, it does give me the jollies. They ARE actually human like the rest of us without print and airbrushes :)

10:01 PM  
Blogger Ozfemme said...

No. It's me as well.

3:23 AM  
Blogger Wash Lady said...

Got room on that bench for me too?

4:32 AM  
Blogger Stacy said...

Ha! I knew I couldn't be the only woman standing in the checkout lane trying to look like I'm NOT looking at the up close (and very personal) pictures of famous flab.

7:14 AM  
Blogger Rebecca said...

I was just at the grocery store and I noticed that...had to pin my arms to my sides to keep from flipping through...I wouldn't want anyone looking at MY cellulite...I tried to look at it that way, but man, it would be a slight thrill...but I think the paparazzi are EVIL people who should be drawn and quartered for their stalking habits.

5:51 PM  
Blogger Feeble Knees said...

yay! I'm NOT the only one! I'm not the only one! I've been wanting to peek at that too! Lord, forgive me, I'm a very catty female. Meow!

2:58 PM  
Blogger Buddy said...

You don't want your own star? Are you kidding?

I used to think that, too, until my wife's aunt gave us a star as a wedding gift. At first I thought, What on earth (literally) are we going to do with a star? We're newlyweds going to college, we need practical things. (Well, that's what I should have been thinking. I was actually disappointed that no one got us a Lego Millenium Falcon, but don't tell my wife that).

But then I thought, My own star. What little I know about astronomy (ie, what I know from Star Wars and Star Trek) tells me that most stars have a solar system. So here is my plan.
I keep the certificate in a safe, and bequeath it to my firstborn and make sure he or she does the same all the way until mankind develops a hyper-drive (I'm assured by Robert A. Heinlein that this happens soon). Humans explore planets, stars, solar systems. And that's when my great-great-great-ad infinitum-grandchild whips out his/her certificate and declares him/herself emperor of the solar system!

Sure, pictures of cellulite give immediate pleasure, but we need to think about the future.

1:29 AM  

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