Irrational Thoughts

Here is my train of thought upon realizing that my daughter is feverish.

Oh no. She feels warm. She probably just has a virus. I hope it passes quickly. That explains my aching head. I probably have it, too. I wonder if her head hurts? Wouldn't it be horrible if this doesn't pass quickly and if it actually turns out to be cancer? She has been clutching her knees and saying "ow." Maybe she has bone cancer. My friends' daughter had bone cancer when she was 12 and she died. My grandpa died from bone cancer. That's a horrible way to die. But Babygirl is too little. Then again, she can't tell me if her legs really do hurt. If she died, I would curl up on my bed and never come out of my room. People would understand. But my other kids would still need me. Boy, look at that rain. I wonder if my kids would think I didn't love them as much if I fell apart after Babygirl's death? I would have to carry on so they would be all right. Oh, I would totally love to take to my bed for a month. On the other hand, if I didn't have this baby, I could go to school and work as an RN. You know, the youth pastor and his wife will be making more money than we are since they'll both be working. I wonder what it would be like to have enough money? Why didn't I work more before I had kids? I was in such a hurry to be a mother. Someday, I'll work again and then I will shop. A lot. Is it almost nap-time? I wonder if I should give Babygirl a Tylenol suppository? Nah, fevers are good. It just shows that she's fighting an infection. I hope she sleeps for two hours. Oh, look, her eyelids are drooping. I can't wait until naptime.