I'm So Sure
When I was a teenager, my most overused phrase was, "I'm so sure!" I still say it. For instance, when I woke up early this morning and realized I have a cold, followed by this week I'm home alone with no help from my husband. I thought, I'm so sure!
But, I took Advil, I ate my usual oatmeal breakfast and I don't feel too bad. It's 10:10 a.m., so naptime is less than three hours a day. How pathetic that I'm counting down the hours. I used to do that when I had a really boring customer service job way back in history when I used to have a job with benefits--benefits other than the benefit of wearing black scuffy slippers all day. I had to clock in for 7.5 hours each day and I counted down starting at about 6.5 hours. Back then, I longed for a baby and for this life, the one I have now. Lucky me, dreams come true.
Last year was my 20 year high school reunion and it was so much like high school. I sat at a table with the two smartest high school girls (both still single) and we chatted while everyone else drank a lot and talked loudly. Okay, maybe not everyone, but it did remind me a lot of high school. I'm glad I went, though, because I reconnected with a few others from high school and it's such a surreal experience to see the high-school kids you remember transformed into balding, pudgy men and actual grown-up women with colored hair that you can't really recognize. Why do all these people look so old when I am still so young and spry?
One of the women from high school has a blog and that's how I know that last Saturday she and her husband went to Seattle, bought tickets to see The Lion King, did a training run with a marathon group, went to the Bite of Seattle, met someone for dinner, and then ended the day by seeing American Idol in concert. They don't have children, and I know that was not their choice, but still. Why didn't I enjoy my life more before I had children? Oh yeah, that's because we had no money and no time.
Jealously is such a waste of time. You know the last time I went to Seattle? Um, that would be two days before I gave birth to Babygirl who is almost two years old. The last concert I saw? That would have to be about 8 years ago. The last time I went to Bite of anything? I can't even remember that far back.
My life is so small now, confined to this house, in this neighborhood. It's like one of those sponges--when you put it in water, it expands to ten times its current size . . . well, my life has been condensed to one-tenth of its former size. Not that I would trade this life, but sometimes it does feel a little cramped.
But Friday, we have a day of freedom coming. I think I'm going to take the kids to the ocean for the day. And throw them in. Just kidding.
[My toddler has refused to wear a diaper this morning. I just said to her, "Tell Mommy when you need to go pee-pee, okay?" and she looked at me with teenage defiance and said, "No!"]
But, I took Advil, I ate my usual oatmeal breakfast and I don't feel too bad. It's 10:10 a.m., so naptime is less than three hours a day. How pathetic that I'm counting down the hours. I used to do that when I had a really boring customer service job way back in history when I used to have a job with benefits--benefits other than the benefit of wearing black scuffy slippers all day. I had to clock in for 7.5 hours each day and I counted down starting at about 6.5 hours. Back then, I longed for a baby and for this life, the one I have now. Lucky me, dreams come true.
Last year was my 20 year high school reunion and it was so much like high school. I sat at a table with the two smartest high school girls (both still single) and we chatted while everyone else drank a lot and talked loudly. Okay, maybe not everyone, but it did remind me a lot of high school. I'm glad I went, though, because I reconnected with a few others from high school and it's such a surreal experience to see the high-school kids you remember transformed into balding, pudgy men and actual grown-up women with colored hair that you can't really recognize. Why do all these people look so old when I am still so young and spry?
One of the women from high school has a blog and that's how I know that last Saturday she and her husband went to Seattle, bought tickets to see The Lion King, did a training run with a marathon group, went to the Bite of Seattle, met someone for dinner, and then ended the day by seeing American Idol in concert. They don't have children, and I know that was not their choice, but still. Why didn't I enjoy my life more before I had children? Oh yeah, that's because we had no money and no time.
Jealously is such a waste of time. You know the last time I went to Seattle? Um, that would be two days before I gave birth to Babygirl who is almost two years old. The last concert I saw? That would have to be about 8 years ago. The last time I went to Bite of anything? I can't even remember that far back.
My life is so small now, confined to this house, in this neighborhood. It's like one of those sponges--when you put it in water, it expands to ten times its current size . . . well, my life has been condensed to one-tenth of its former size. Not that I would trade this life, but sometimes it does feel a little cramped.
But Friday, we have a day of freedom coming. I think I'm going to take the kids to the ocean for the day. And throw them in. Just kidding.
[My toddler has refused to wear a diaper this morning. I just said to her, "Tell Mommy when you need to go pee-pee, okay?" and she looked at me with teenage defiance and said, "No!"]
posted by Melodee at Monday, July 19, 2004
2 Comments:
Melodee, Lovin' your new "About Me" section....
Seems like I'm living in a deflated sponge these days too. But keeping the faith, because someday I know it will expand again... Hey, Mikey is refusing to wear a diaper too... ~Michelle
Who knows, Sissy--maybe in another year. This Grace is an exceedingly clingy Mommy's Girl.
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