Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Swimming With the Current

Some days, I feel adrift. I bob along, tread water, scan the horizon for a boat to rescue me. I don't feel like picking up, cleaning, interacting, washing, drying, folding and putting away. The thought of producing yet another dinner crashes over my head like a rogue wave.

I don't sleep enough. I'm bleary in the mornings, yet night arrives and I'm bright-eyed with all the gears in my brain whirring at full speed. Before I know it, midnight arrives and I pull the covers up and calculate how little sleep I'll get. The weariness drags me under.

My house is full of children every day. My 7-year old invited two friends over to play today, and just when those children went home (at 6:00 p.m.), the two neighbor boys arrived. Ten children were in my house at various times today. Granted, that's fewer than Barbara parents (she has twelve children), but still. Some days these children are like an anchor--and I mean that in a good way and a bad way. I dream of freedom, of grabbing my car keys and driving somewhere. Alone.

The experts say you should remain calm. Don't fight a current. And so, today, when I felt myself being dragged away from shore, I did what any reasonable housewife would do. I swam with the current, just paddled along, kept moving.

I tidied up the living room so at least one room looked presentable. Then, I made a pot-pie from scratch, including pie crust. My 3-year old daughter "helped" me make the crust--she dumped in the flour, mixed it a little with the pastry blender, used the rolling pin and then generously sprinkled the extra pie crust with cinnamon sugar. She grinned at me each time I showed her how to help. She gleefully proclaimed, "I am a good girl!"

And I'm kept afloat by the power of her crooked smile.


Blogger Heather said...

Sounds just like my 3-year-old's version of helping :-) I thought it was rather funny, though, that she dumped in the "floor" as opposed to the "flour". If that's the case, hope your floor's cleaner than mine :-)

6:07 AM  
Anonymous mopsy said...

A crooked smile can move mountains. You should take a page out of your daughter's book and say "I am a good girl!" once in awhile too.

Take care.

8:34 AM  
Blogger weese said...

you will be able to take that drive ...soon enough.
I am there now... and its pretty nice.
so enjoy the mess... it doesn't last all that long.

9:26 AM  
Blogger Gina said...

What exactly are the mysterious powers in the smile of a three year old?

I feel the same way when I see Mr. Personality's grin.

10:27 AM  
Blogger WordsRock said...

Okay the bit about your daughter helping make a pot pie had me pulling out my photo album to bask in the memory of The Boy carefully crimping a pie crust. He's maybe six or so, standing on a stool at the kitchen counter, his face a model of studiousness as he moved the fork around the edge of the crust.

Thanks for the reminder. Good times, good times. :)


8:15 PM  
Blogger Cuppa said...

Oh those smiles are powerful life preservers aren't they?

11:05 AM  

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