Monday, August 08, 2005

Me, Me, Me

Let's talk about me.

I am a middle child.

I earned straight A's in school, but a choir teacher gave me a B+ for a semester grade my sophomore year of high school and thus ruined my life. I am still bitter. I never took another fine arts class in school, though I love art and music.

I have brown eyes and what used to be naturally blond, curly hair.

I read Helter Skelter: The True Story of the Manson Murders when I was younger than ten years old. What were my parents thinking?

My first job (involving a W-2 form) was as a clerk at a natural foods store. I think I was fired (or did I just quit?) when my boss got word that I said to a customer, "I don't know. They don't tell me anything around here." I was fifteen.

I once shook hands with Jim Bakker on a dare. I was working at Heritage USA on the grounds crew at the time.

I was voted "Outstanding Junior Girl" in my high school class of four hundred. If not for that stupid B+ in choir, I might have been one of the three (or four) valedictorians. I graduated fourth out of four hundred students. My parents did not have a graduation party for me.

I traveled to Jamaica when I was seventeen with a church group. I hated Jamaica. That could be because when I was sixteen, I traveled to Tahiti with a church group and Tahiti rocks. Just look here.

I don't drink alcohol and the one time I sipped champagne, it reminded me of Nyquil. I always thought I'd probably like drinking so much I'd probably end up sleeping under a bridge and living in a cardboard box.

I've been in the following states (which I can type in alphabetical order by singing a song I learned in Miss Brittingham's third grade class): Alabama, Arkansas, California, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, Florida, Georgia, Idaho, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Louisiana, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, Nebraska, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, North Carolina, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Vermont, Virginia, Washington, Wisconsin, Wyoming.

I play the piano, but I never practiced enough to become excellent. I can't play by ear very well at all, much to my chagrin.

I am an introvert.

I like to watch "The Real World" and have watched almost every season.

My favorite television show of all time was "thirtysomething." Oh. And "Seinfeld."

I hate raw tomatoes and Kraft macaroni and cheese.

I've been deep-sea fishing off the coast of Florida. You haven't really ever seen navy blue until you've looked down at the ocean and seen navy blue.

I swam in the Pacific Ocean when I was younger and didn't mind my whole body going numb from cold and didn't realize I was risking my life.

I swam in mountain streams in my youth, also not realizing the danger. I white-water rafted once and loved it. Today I might be too afraid of dying.

I hate to camp. (This might be because I don't drink alcohol.)

I have red stripes on my family room wall.

I bought a Lifecycle exercise bike at a garage sale over the weekend for $50.00.

The last movie I saw was "Must Like Dogs." I really wanted to like it because it features a Newfoundland, but it was a rotten movie. Stupid, stupid dialogue and ridiculous ending. The dog was cute, though.

I owned a Newfoundland for two years. She nipped two of my kids and was returned to the breeder, despite many tears and begging by the children (even the bitten ones).

I bought a hamster cage at a garage sale this weekend, too, for $10, including all the supplies you could dream of. It has a hamster bed and a hamster potty. I don't want to own any rodents, but my youngest son is a fan of animals and has been begging for another pet. If I soften my stance, I am prepared. (The cage still had its original sticker--$49.99.)

I am sarcastic, smart, an excellent typist. I hate coffee and adore books. I am a pessimist. I never read historical romances. I like depressing stories. I am critical and defensive and never forget a slight.

Well, I could go on and on about me, you know, since I am completely narcissistic and all, but I am boring even myself. Tomorrow? Judgments. Let's see how many I can make in one post.

15 Comments:

Blogger Julana said...

My dear Mel,
Not like raw tomatoes or coffee? Sorry for your loss.

For dog movies: Have you tried "The Adventures of Yellow Dog"?

In today's paper: the story of three organ recipients who died from a virus the donor had caught from her hamster.

Re the red stripes: you obviously don't have the inner agonies over choosing paint colors that I do. (Obviously, neither did our home's owner.)

5:22 AM  
Blogger Julana said...

Oops, I meant PREVIOUS owner.

5:22 AM  
Blogger Carmen said...

NOT like raw tomatoes or coffee? Ikes. Well, more for me.

Good list for reading. Can't wait for the judgements!

5:59 AM  
Blogger Judy said...

Wow. I want to see "Must Love Dogs" because of the dogs too. I have a Westie who frequently puts herself into a coma. Really. Just like in the commercial for the movie.

Can't wait for "Judgements" day!

6:31 AM  
Blogger Demented M said...

I hate to disappoint, but Must Love Dogs is a little light on the dogs. Sorry. Although what is there is awfully cute.

Mel--I don't like raw tomatoes or coffee either. Never had a cup of coffee in my life.

Oh and I watch Real World too--I'm so going to email you now to dish. Mel is driving me nuts! Wait, that's confusing. Not you, I meant the girl on RW.

M

6:34 AM  
Blogger Elizabeth said...

You don't like Kraft Mac and Cheese? Oops...yer evil too (besides being narcissistic and judgmental and all). Enjoy that special section of hell for those who don't like specific comfort foods (Dante left it out because it was just too horrific for words).

You'll be joined by Gina 'deviled eggs - can you spell 'eww'' OC Chick and Suzanne 'mashed potatoes - it's a texture thing' Prevaricatin' Homo.

I'm so sorry. You had so many 'heaven' points being a pastor's wife and everything but...God is a Bubba (little known fact, but true).

6:48 AM  
Blogger tab said...

the similarities between us really are eerie. By the way---IT'S A GIRL!!!! July 27, 2005 @ 1046 p.m. 8 pounds even 20.5 inches and perfect as can be

7:03 AM  
Blogger Beth said...

Mel, you rock! now, if only you drank coffee, you'd be perfect!! ha ha, just kidding, please don't write an entire post about me!! :) My parents let me have hamsters, too and they would keep getting out and then would disappear and then I would cry and beg until they got me a replacement. red stripes on the walls?? I love it, can you put up a picture? and I can't wait until tomorrow!!

7:15 AM  
Blogger Shelly said...

Glad to see you made it out garage saling!

7:16 AM  
Blogger M3 (Mary-Mia) said...

Real World. Bwah ha ha! So do I. Although I don't TELL anyone. Well at least not anyone except you guys reading this. My husband has now gotten hooked on it too, although he would claim otherwise.

Need to see the red striped wall, please...

9:38 AM  
Blogger Kim said...

There is only one moment when Kraft Macaroni and Cheese is edible; that moment between pot and plate.

You sound like my kind of gal.

9:56 AM  
Blogger Diddy-Win said...

Mel, remember how we are twins? This post proves it more:
I am a middle child. me too

I earned straight A's in school me too (except for the "F" I received in study hall in 8th grade for talking too much...)

I was fifteen. me too

I once shook hands with Jim Bakker me too (well, actually, I read his book, "I Was Wrong" - does that count?)

I was voted "Outstanding Junior Girl" in my high school class me too (well, actually, I was voted "best dressed" in my senior year...does THAT count towards our twinniness?)

My parents did not have a graduation party for me. me too (And they only took ONE lousy, stinkin' picture, and it was of me and my so-called boyfriend that I was breaking up with the next day anyway...I AM still bitter.)

I don't drink alcohol me too (ummm....I mean I DO drink alcohol...how do you get through PMS during dinner time with tiny kiddies?)

and the one time I sipped champagne, me too (and I sipped it so much that I got snockered on Mother's Day....accidentally, of course...I think I had PMS that day...)

I've been in the following states (which I can type in alphabetical order by singing a song I learned me too (to the tune of 'Turkey in the Straw.)

I play the piano, me too (in my mind)

I am an introvert. me too (well, actually, I'm not sure how to tell...but I want to still be your twin.)

My favorite television show of all time was "thirtysomething." Oh. And "Seinfeld." me too (Seinfeld, that is..)

I hate raw tomatoes and Kraft macaroni and cheese. me too (the latter)

I've been deep-sea fishing me too (I threw up many, many times.)

I swam in the Pacific Ocean when I was younger me too

I swam in mountain streams in my youth, me too
I white-water rafted once me too

I hate to camp. (This might be because I don't drink alcohol.) me too (I don't care for camping either, but I think it's because I DO drink alcohol!)

I have red stripes on my family room wall. we're not identical twins, but I do have a red wall in my house

I bought a Lifecycle exercise bike me too (it doubles as a GREAT clothes hanger!)

I owned a Newfoundland for two years. She nipped two of my kids and was returned to the breeder, despite many tears and begging by the children (even the bitten ones). well, not exactly, me too (but I owned a German Shepherd that started nipping and he went to that big dog pound in the sky...)

I don't want to own any rodents, me too - Mel, this is for your own good....BACK AWAY FROM THE HAMSTER CAGE!! It will become your biggest and most hilarious mistake. The smell alone will make GREAT fodder for this blog...on second thought, I could use a good laugh - go get that smelly, crawly rodent that WILL get loose in your house.

I am sarcastic, me too that's why we like each other so much

smart, me too (if you add an a** to the ending

I hate coffee me too

I like depressing stories. me too (Maybe we ARE identical twins after all.)

I am critical and defensive and never forget a slight. I will never admit to it

Well, I could go on and on about me, you know, since I am completely narcissistic meow!

Now THAT was fun - I like being narcissistic!

12:22 PM  
Blogger Debra said...

Mel... You are a hoot! I always enjoy my visits here. I, too, loved certain episodes of thirtysomething, especially where ...hmm... wasn't her real name Mel like yours?...where she found the WWII diary in her basement. Oh my, afterward I said, "I could have written that episode, except that I thought the viewing public didn't care about things like that!" It had everything I loved and I wish I had it on DVD. I also loved when her mother came to visit... that's another one I could have written myself. :) Thanks for your post--like all the others, it made my day! ... Debra

1:36 PM  
Blogger Gem said...

It always amazes me when people complain about blogs being narcissistic or whiney. As if our blog were the sum of us. A blog is a web log, a journal. If you don't like my diary, don't read it!

3:38 PM  
Blogger Tina said...

Fun entry! I wonder if that was easy to write, or difficult. I think that for some people, it would just flow. I don't know if I could write an entry like that very easily.

10:05 AM  

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