Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Untitled Due to Lack of Title Supply

You might change your opinion of me when I tell you this.

I've never watched Law & Order. Or Dynasty. And I hate chicken wings.

So, tonight, I exercised (two months, every day, let's hear it for commitment!) and then I went to the grocery story ostensibly to buy cat food. On the way, a car pulled out in front of me at an intersection--my light turned green and this oncoming car noticed that her light turned green, too, so she immediately turned left. If I'd been a little less observant and driving a cooler, hotter, faster car than my 1993 Mercury Sable (boring ice blue), perhaps I would have rammed into the side of her smallish vehicle. But I was paying attention. And my car meanders.

The SUV next to me, however, in the right lane, very nearly crashed into the inattentive driver's car. We all paused in the middle of the intersection. I couldn't go further because the erring driver's car was in front of me. She couldn't move out of my way because the SUV was blocking her way. The SUV wouldn't get out of the way because he first had to roll down his window and rebuke the inattentive driver with great drama and extra finger-wagging and maybe even some harsh language. I'm just guessing.

I simply honked my horn in a "GET OUT OF THE WAY YOU IDIOT" sort of pleasant pattern. The light turned red and finally, the lecture ended and the SUV moved, so the inattentive car moved and then I moved.

I went for cat food and spent $96 because I remembered things here and there I must have. For instance, potato chips and Tostitos (Restaurant Style) for the Super Bowl on Sunday. And four avacados and french onion dip. The triumph of the Seahawks hinges on the adequate consumption of junk food in my house. I also decided hot dogs (with chili) would be an excellent meal on Super Bowl Sunday. I remembered to buy relish, too, for my husband. And chili, no beans.

I forgot the buns, though, because my formerly reliable, outstanding and exquisite memory is failing one bun at a time. I hate that. I still have supreme confidence in my abilities, but shaky performance. Kind of like my Mercury Sable. Only without the empty waterbottles on my floorboards and old Sunday School papers tucked in my pockets.


Blogger jennifer starfall said...

yay mel! exercising for 2 months!!! woooohooooo!

i forget hotdog buns, too. more importantly, i almost forgot the superbowl. i guess i'd better go shopping...

5:54 AM  
Blogger Goslyn said...

LOL. My mind is failing one bun at a time too. (Still chuckling).

Glad I'm not the only one who runs out for a $3 item (a gallon of milk) and returns $80 later with five gallons of ice cream, two bags of chips and a pot roast.

6:52 AM  
Blogger Stacy said...

Sorry to have to break it to you, Mel, but no amount of junk food is going to produce a Seahawk victory. Go Steelers!

Good for you on the exercise, though. I should be so committed. Or maybe just committed?

7:18 AM  
Blogger JEB said...

2 months? Wow. I'm impressed. I don't watch Law & Order, either. I just can't get in to it.

7:32 AM  
Blogger blueyedtracy said...

I'm a little late to the party, but happy belated birthday!! Enoy the game . . I think the best part of these big games is the food! No other day of the year do I allow myself things like hot dogs, chips, dip, etc all in the same day.

7:35 AM  
Blogger WordsRock said...

Eh, fewer people eating chicken wings leaves more for those of us who suck them down with relish and enthusiasm.

I went the to grocery store yesterday too. I feel so grown up.


8:24 AM  
Blogger The Daring One said...

Dude! You so very much crack me up.

8:25 AM  
Blogger Gina said...

I am glad that the remnants were alert enough to help you avoid a crash! That is just the last thing anyone needs.

I have never been a big football fan, but I hope you have a great party.

What is it with empty water bottles rattling around in our cars? Whenever I throw away one, two seem to take its place. Yet I personally don't remember even drinking any.

10:27 AM  
Anonymous Tara said...

I really like you'r writing style you should do that professionally you're very creative. I'm jealous

3:40 PM  
Anonymous Lauren said...

Wait, wait, did you just say you didn't like chicken wings? What's the deal with that?

9:04 PM  

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